I appreciate that judgy and jealous thoughts must go back since the beginning of time. Which got me thinking about Adam and Eve, did they judge each other? It seems so after The Fall (& the whole eating the forbidden fruit debacle) Adam seems to blame Eve: “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit…” and then Eve appears to blame the serpent. So reading between the lines it all got a bit judgy pretty quickly.

So yes we all know we are judged, woman particularly. Judged if we marry, judged if we don’t, judged if we have children judged if we don’t, judged if we work and judged if we don’t - you get my drift. It could be a long post. But it’s one thing to be judged in silence and quite another to be judged and criticised in such a public way with such nastiness and often complete lies. It seems altogether rather tragic and a complete waste of time on this earth if you ask me. Which of course nobody has.

Is it me or does there seem to be no filter on anyone anymore? If you don’t like someone walk away, don’t make friends with them and definitely don’t invite them to a dinner party to eat a prawn cocktail with you. But more than that don’t visit a website and spend precious time coming up with a steady stream of bile and bitterness at people you barely know.

Turning 50 was annoying but I also feel grateful that I was born in an era where carving into the school desk or wall was where most hate was directed.

When you start your own business everybody asks ‘which social platforms will you be on?’, ‘how much of yourself will you put out there’ (I had to initially check the meaning of that one) and everybody tells you ‘customers want to hear and see the founder’ aka the idiot who has given up their safety net of a PAYE job and hopes to pay the mortgage through marketing all the pretty parts of their business via an app called Instagram’. What can possibly go wrong I thought. I still appear surprised when a customer asks if I have had a nice time with the family in Copenhagen or wherever I went and wonder how they know and then quickly realise because I plastered it all over the internet.. Fortunately for me Hugo the Wire Fox gains way more traction than I would ever get putting my middle aged mortified face on the internet so there really is very little point in me showing up in that way. But for Beverly’s re-fashioned shirts I’m prepared to do it.

When asked recently to run a Botanical Tile workshop for some Interior influencers I really didn’t know what to expect. To be honest I’m still traumatised from a workshop I ran for a surprise 50th and I could immediately tell the birthday girl would have preferred a Butler in the Buff than my attempt at teaching her how to make a wreath (and not even at Christmas) (wreaths are not just for Christmas don’t you know) or the time of the Hen Do when we (the bridesmaids, mother of the bride and future mother-in-law) all attempted to make a giant wreath for the wedding day which entailed each person making bunches and then passing them to quality control (me) where I placed and wired them on to the wreath base. By the second bottle of prosecco quality control was having to redo every bunch. I reckon I made 200 bunches that day….and probably for £40…

Anyway I digress from the original topic.

The Botanical Tile session for the group of interior influencers was to be held in a sofa showroom in upmarket Chelsea during Chelsea flower show. I think the thing that was keeping me awake at night before the event was whether they had been told what they would be doing on the day. Queue, the 50th surprise wreath making memory from a brain that keeps hitting replay when you least expect or want it. But this is also where a wealth of HR experience comes in handy when meeting new people for the first time and also having Beverly in tow helping me organise my mind.

Well what a lovely bunch of women (and one man) they were. So inclusive, friendly and enthusiastic about me handing them a lump of clay to bash around with no guarantee of the end result. Lisa Dawson was particularly lovely and I was able to thank her for including a product of mine on her infamous Christmas gift guide. Embarrassingly for me I only had two of the products in stock at the time of the gift guide going live so like many opportunities I have been granted along the way that one also fell very much flat on it’s face.

But back to Tattle Life. The same Influencers I met on that day who were very kind to myself and Beverly are often the individuals that are subject to ridicule via this weird website which has made a lot of money from all the comments and discussions on there. And how ironic that the founder in question is in fact a man (who apparantly never gossip, well according to my husband that is). Just people trying to make a living.

We can all say that we don’t really care what others think of us, but I think deep down we are all looking for feedback as to how we can do things better. But from an HR person who has dealt with many a poor manager, it really is what’s in the message and how has the message lands. And there really is no place for the kind of messages that existed on this site.

For those of us that were not brought up with the internet the notion that everything is classed as content and can be put to music is a hard concept to grapple with, but I’m hear for it if it means I can continue to carve out a creative career and meet lovely like-minded folk. Not twats pretending to be something they are not. A nice person.

Holiday content coming soon I promise….

Gemma

I don't know if it will be a drawback that talking comes more naturally to me than writing but if I can work at documenting all those insights, ideas and observations (the ones that I would never have shared on insta!) throughout my working week then this could be a cathartic way to express the realities of life as a creative in my early 50's and the lessons I continue to learn (or not learn as the case may be).

I know there are so many of us out there that crave to do something different with our lives and many that already have, but it can be lonely. I question myself every day as to what makes me think I can do this and I am 9 years on from leaving my Corporate life. I would love to connect with there like-minded creatives.

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Owning a bricks & mortar is not for the faint-hearted but it is addictive. I am a sucker for punishment and seem to enjoy all those imparted opinions, day in day out. My chaotic brain has meant that l've pivoted more times than a chameleon at the Wisley Winter light show...so expect out of depth, 'fly by the seat of my pants' dialogue as I work at being a shopkeeper, stylist, photographer, mum, bad friend and most importantly a dog owner.

You see, you are a sitting duck in a shop so no conversation seems off limits. It's an interiors shop surely we only discuss furniture, paint colours and floral arrangements. Fast forward to Saturday when I was asked by a tall guy with glasses (kind of irrelevant when you hear the second part) who was off his face and wanted to know if I sold lion skins. I informed him that we do not and have never sold lion skins. I am not sure who was more perplexed. As he left he said 'have a nice life'. I thanked him for visiting Wattle & Daub.

Those 27 years in my old life have lead up to the lion skins moment. Don't mess with me mate, I dealt with bankers in the 90's...

I am going to try my best to turn up consistently (as a minimum a weekly post on a Wednesday) and I really look forward to meeting old friends and making new ones on here. What's the worst that can happen, it becomes a helpful journal to express all the internal dialogue that plays out throughout the day wearing the many creative hats I wear.

Wattle & Daub (The Actual Shop)

I hope you’ll join me for this exploration (and the highs and lows) of me attempting to forge out this creative career in what right now does not feel like the prime of my life.

Gemma

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